PSG's Joao Neves Nets Sensational Hat Trick, Steals the Show in Thrilling Win

Consider these three goals, if you will:

Goal I: The ball comes to you in the box after a bit of pinball. In front of you, your star forward has tried to control it and only managed to balloon it into the air. Back to goal, you tap the bouncing ball up onto your chest and as it spins back, you fall backwards and smash it over your head and into the top corner. It's hit with so much power, the defender on the line has no chance of stopping it.

Editor's Picks

• 

  Stats: Guardiola's worst start with City, Rayo's record against Barcelona, Messi's lost final

  3hZenia D'Cunha

• 

  Szoboszlai, Liverpool make statement start to 2025-26 in win over Arsenal

  16hMark Ogden and Beth Lindop

• 

  LIVE Transfer deadline day news, updates: Isak to Liverpool agreed

  20mESPN

Goal II: You ghost into space at the edge of the six-yard box as your team attack in numbers. A cross is deflected into your general vicinity. You twist your body as you look to control it, chest it with your back to goal. As the ball bounces up, you take off too, and with your body parallel to the ground, you smash it over your head and into the far top corner with the cleanest connection of your right boot. As you head to the corner flag to celebrate, you can see the goalkeeper wave his hand in disgust, in that universal sign of 'f*** it, what can I do about that!'

Goal III: Your pacy forwards are zooming into the opposition third on the counter. The left winger cuts in and looks to feed the right winger, he and the centre-forward rotating positions at whirlwind speed, but it's cut out. You've joined in the counter because that's what you do, run, and just as you get to the D right outside the penalty box, the ball rolls out to you after an interception. Without pause, you sprint on to it and lash it first time through the crowd and perfectly into the top corner.

If you're a professional footballer, and you had scored any one of these goal-of-the-season contenders in a season you'd have been pretty satisfied with your work. Indeed, if you'd scored these three goals in the first division over the course of your career, that would have been rather special.

These three, though, were scored in the space of 70 odd minutes on Saturday night by one man, a man not known for scoring any kind of goal let alone these, a man who -- with this -- got the first hat trick of his professional career. A 20-year-old who appears to be adding new layers to his already generation talent every time you see him play... PSG's Joao Neves.

5'7"-ish tops, playing with his shirt tucked in like it's the 80s (or school lunch time), Neves cuts an unassuming figure on any football field. Till the whistle blows, that is. A whirlwind who seems to be everywhere at once, his pressing energy and tackling are off the charts (last season, when PSG won the title, he made the most tackles in a Champions League season since a certain Gennaro Gattuso), while his passing can alternate between metronomic and audacious as the situation demands. Once the match starts, the choirboy turns into Taz, the Tasmanian Devil.

As PSG rose to their current heights over the past season, he'd gone a little under the radar -- the front three of Khvicha Kvaratskhelia, Ousmane Dembele and Desire Doue stole the headlines with their pace and directness and fluidity, and beside him in midfield, Vitinha's flicks and tricks and Fabian Ruiz's nose for goal were more eye-catching -- but he's always been a key part of the Luis Enrique plan.

João Neves crazy hat-trick �� pic.twitter.com/kB7HDYSuUc

- Ligue 1 English (@Ligue1_ENG) August 31, 2025

On Saturday, away at Toulouse in Ligue 1, he showed that he can chip in with goals when needed too, and how. "It's not just about [Neves] scoring three goals," said Enrique after the match. It's the way he scored them. It's very difficult to find such a hat trick, it's not common. But Joao is a player who has that quality." And they ended being crucial goals, his hat trick the difference between a win and a draw.

For, while he was drawing up one of the great hat tricks of all time, a carnival of chaos erupted around him: Neves' first bicycle kick gave PSG the lead. Bradley Barcola toe-poked PSG to 2-0. Neves' second bicycle made it three. A Dembele penalty made it four. Charlie Creswell got one back for the home side. Toulouse's Frank Magri saw a penalty saved, but a retake was given, which was taken by Cristian Casseres and was saved again. Dembele then scored another penalty to make it 5-1 (you could ask why Neves, after his brace, wasn't offered one of the penalties, but Ballon D'Or contenders don't usually give away pens to others). Then came the Neves thunderbolt to make it 6-1. Toulouse weren't done, though, and got two back via Yann Gboho and Alexis Vossah. 6-3 it ended, the difference that stunning Neves hat trick.

After the match Neves said it was more important that the team won that he had scored three, but the first central midfielder to score a hat trick for PSG couldn't contain the broad smile that was spreading over his face as he spoke. "Yes, I practice these goals in training, on the beach," he said. "The balls were perfect for bicycle kicks, so I thought why not give it a go?"

For giving it a go, for winning PSG the match, and for presenting us with one of the all-time great hat tricks, Joao Neves takes our moment of the week.